Usually a new year brings joy and happiness. During the holidays, people being to think about their New Year’s Resolution. For a recently divorced parent, there are some resolutions to keep for yourself and for your children that you can attain during the new year. The following are some tips so that you can have a happy “New Year, New You.”
Goals. Set some goals that will help you adjust, cope, and resolve any negative feelings about the other parent. This may include making a goal to talk respectfully with your ex-spouse if previous arguments escalated into fights. This should occur when the children are present, of course, but it should also happen when the children aren’t present. Breaking a habit becomes easier when you completely break it rather creating any opportunity for the habit to persist. Be the example you want to set for your children.
Schedule. Keep an open mind when scheduling time with your children. If something changes or a conflict arises, try to be as calm and collected as possible, especially if schedule conflict discussions occur in front of your children. Remember that both parties may still be in the process of transitioning into a co-parenting lifestyle and have yet to “sort out the kinks.”
Recognition. If your children are coping better than you were expecting or they are doing something positive, be sure to praise them and give credit when credit is due. Recognizing something positive tends to reinforce that good behavior.
Counseling. Even if your children seem to be coping well, it would still be good to consider counseling for your children and for yourself. Experienced counselors are licensed and accredited and have years of experience dealing with people in your situation. They can be much better equipped at handling various divorce-related situations that may help you and your children. It should also be noted that having a positive attitude about counseling and leading by example will help, as opposed to bringing up the negative comments or connotations of a Therapist. A counselor may in fact be a doctor as well, but if not, explain to your child that a counselor is like a doctor that wants you to feel happy and safe and helps with the feelings of your mind.
Respect. No matter how angry, sad, resentful etc. you may be about your divorce, it is quite detrimental to speak poorly about your ex-spouse. Allow your children to have a relationship with your ex-spouse and you should work on fostering their relationship. . Consequently, if your ex-spouse is not showing you respect, especially in front of the children, then a Modification may be necessary. You can have a legal document that can specify how parties need to behave around the children, otherwise certain difficulties may manifest. If you need help with this, please do not hesitate to contact Fernandez, Socci, & Nieves Family Law 978-681-5454, info@FSNfamilylaw.com.
Even if you keep at least one of these resolutions, the quality of life after divorce would only increase. It would be wise to accomplish this for yourself and for your children.
During this process, you will feel a “rollercoaster ride” of emotions. This is normal and understandable. Be patient with yourself, others and the divorce process. A qualified, competent attorney will not only help you file for divorce, but help counsel you through this difficult transition so that you do what’s best for your children (if applicable) and yourself.
For more information and to discuss your situation with an experienced family law / divorce attorney in Andover, MA, please visit our website. To learn more about the U.S. News & World Report of Fernandez, Socci & Nieves Family Law, click here .
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