Common Challenges That Propel You Into A Divorce



The reasons why someone would want a divorce are countless and extremely varied.  Each couple has their own specific reason, their crux or root of the problem so to speak.  Of course, some issues are minor or mere misunderstandings that can be remidied, while  perhaps other issues can’t be resolved at all.  Here are some common reasons why a marriage may lead to divorce.

·         Finances.  It should come as no surprise that financial hardships or challenges cause strain a marriage.  If there is no resolution or your spouse doesn’t seem to care or put an effort in resolving your financial obligations,( i.e. they continue to gamble, buy another pair of shoes, etc.) then it may get to a point where one would say, “enough is enough.”

·         Parenting.  If it’s not finances, then it’s about the kids.  As a parent, you both want the best for your children.  However, what you think is “the best” may not be the opinion of your spouse.  Having differing opinions as top what is best and having different parenting styles will frequently cause friction in the marriage. Of course, more serious problems such as neglect or abuse  will certainly create a lot of tension in the marriage.  Overall, the emotional, spiritual, physical and psychological well-being of your family should be of highest priority.

·         Being present.  Your spouse may “be there, but not be there.”  Just because they come home every night doesn’t mean they’re necessarily keeping the emotional and physical connection with you.  If the flame is completely out and there’s no longer any interest, particularly if you come to find you mutually are no longer interested in each other, will typically result in divorce unless each individual makes an effort to better the relationship.

·         Infidelity.  Although this may seem obvious, there are some less obvious things to note about infidelity.  The main question should be, “Why did you no longer remain faithful to me?”  Typically, when one will “be there, but not be there,” they may be emotionally void of your marital relationship.  Maybe they no longer connect with you emotionally, spiritually, etc.  Sometimes infidelity is merely for the “easy sex,” but sometimes it’s because your spouse wants to have that emotional intimacy with another human being, but that person may no longer be you.  If it was merely for the sexual encounter and nothing more, can you forgive them and move on?  Can any of this be resolved with couples’ counseling?  If not, then a divorce may be the decision a couple in this situation will choose.

·         Resentment.  If it is one, some, or all of the above reasons, it should come to no surprise that resentment typically sets in.  Resentment is simply the result of not being able to forgive or let go of the hurt or harm that was caused by your spouse.  If it was infidelity, you may still be angry even though you said you “forgave” your spouse.  This resentment could easily multiply, especially, for example, if you get approached by others that show an interest in you.  If you truly can’t forgive or let go of whatever caused the resentment between you and your spouse, then a divorce may be the solution.

About the Firm

Fernandez, Socci & Nieves Family Law, based in North Andover, Massachusetts, not only serves North Andover, MA, but also Andover, MA, Methuen, MA, Boxford, MA, and West Boxford, MA and surrounding areas, including Southern New Hampshire.  The law firm has consistently been recognized as a “Best Law Firm” from in US. News & World Report .  If you are considering divorce, or have other family law-related concerns such as child custody, mediation / arbitration, modifications, pre-nuptial / post-nuptial, or paternity matters, consider contacting Fernandez, Socci & Nieves Family Law.

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