What Will Happen To Our Children After Divorce?
If you are considering divorce or are recently divorced, your children are most likely still processing what happened or what is about to happen. It is important to be supportive to your children both during and after the divorce process. . The following is a small sample of issues you may encounter during and after the divorce
Children will display a range of emotions. Regardless of how they are feeling, children typically feel that they had something to do with the divorce. This is especially true if they witnessed their parents arguing about something relating to them. Maybe you had an argument about getting new clothes for the kids or spending too much money buying toys. It is important to acknowledge to your child that although you may have argued about buying too many toys, it is not your child’s fault that you divorced. It’s going to be hard to go through this part of the process, but a little bit of patience will help over time. It would be suggested to let your child speak openly about their thoughts or feelings and acknowledge that it is ok and normal for them to feel that way and then further discuss it if they feel the need. Please keep in mind that many child therapists and doctors would mention that children will normally feel anger, anxiety and other emotions with or without divorce. If need be, do not hesitate to ask your pediatrician for a referral if you feel your child needs a child or family therapist.
Your child may become more “needy” when it comes to attention. This is another common phenomenon where the child may not feel as easy with one less person living in the house. Be sure to give them the attention they seek in case they have not yet found the courage to talk about their thoughts and feelings.
KEEPING THE PEACE
Even if your divorce ended with great contempt, you must be civil and remain respectful toward your ex-spouse when the children are present. Not doing so may prolong everyone’s psychological recovery post-divorce.
Generally speaking, children tend to thrive when they have their consistent daily / weekly routine. As humans we are typically creatures of habit. Maintaining as much of your child’s routine before, during and after divorce is key for their health and well-being and may make post-divorce less jarring to them.
Although feeling a range of emotions is normal post-divorce there are some behaviors that are “red flags.” For example, if your child has trouble sleeping, poor focus, if grades or school activity is declining, trouble with kids at school, not eating lunch, not spending time with other kids during recess, drug / alcohol abuse, skipping class, withdrawal from loved ones, etc. These should be addressed with the help of your school and some form of counseling or program.
For the most part, there should be a plan for post-divorce life for your entire family. Coping with the new process typically becomes less daunting over time. If you feel you or your children are not coping post-divorce, please do not hesitate to contact our family law firm so you can begin to transition into a new life that is positive and fulfilled.
About the Firm
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