BREAKING THE NEWS TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT YOUR DIVORCE
Divorce is a challenging process for children, let alone adults. When children are involved the divorce process has the potential to become more complicated and challenge parents face is understanding and dealing with your child’s emotions. The following are some suggestions on how to inform your children about your forthcoming divorce:
· If
you plan on breaking the news about your divorce, work on what you plan to say
to them together, even if you have to write it down and eventually read it to
them. Writing down what you plan to say
is a great way to make sure you don’t forget anything in case you are too
emotional or distracted to focus on what you’re saying.
· If
you have more than once child it is best to break the news to them jointly
rather than separately. To them, it will
make it seem fairer and they will not feel as if one child has preferential
treatment over the other.
· If
possible, break the news with your spouse also present.
· Find
the right time to let the children know. Try not to break the news if your
child has a special event approaching, such as vacations, holidays and
birthdays. In addition, it is best to
wait if they are soon to be taking a test or school exam.
· When
having the initial discussion try not to get emotional about your child’s
reaction.
· We
understand it is easier said than done, but try to make sure the child is being
listened to and that their feelingsare not being minimized.
·
Do
not show anger or contempt towards your spouse.
·
It
is important to stress that the divorce is no the fault of your children and
that your spouse and yourself decided as adults that it’s time to move on.
· Be
clear with your communication. Let them
know that you’ve already exhausted your resources and yourselves to keep the
marriage alive and have decided that it’s time to move on. Be clear that you are not “taking a break”
and that this is a final decision.
· Contrary to popular belief, it is not suggested to tell your children that “mommy and daddy still love each other.” This could create a sense of false hope. Instead keep the focus on your children and mention that both you and your spouse still love your children very much.
If
you follow these steps when breaking the news to your children the news may be better
received. Know that divorce is a process
and that there should be a plan post-divorce for not only yourself and your
finances but also for your life after divorce, including life after divorce for
your children. If you feel you need to,
please do not hesitate to contact Fernandez, Socci & Nieves Family Law for
more information.
About the Firm
For more information and to discuss your situation with an experienced family law / divorce attorney in North Andover, MA, please visit our website. To learn more about the U.S. News & World Report of Fernandez, Socci & Nieves Family Law, click here .
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