The Three A’s that Can Lead to Divorce…

The Three A's that Can Lead to Divorce...

There are many factors that can lead to divorce, including high stress levels, a lack of communication, money issues, etc. There are also “three A’s” that often lead to divorce if not addressed.


Abuse manifests in many forms, not purely physical.  Abuse may also include sexual abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse.    If your spouse ever makes you feel humiliated or belittled during sex or makes you perform sexual acts that you are not comfortable with, this is one instance of sexual abuse.  In fact, forcing a spouse into unwanted sexual practices is actually more common than one would expect.  Physical abuse can be anything from slapping, restraining, grabbing, pushing, hitting, to beating in more extreme cases.  Verbal abuse dovetails into emotional abuse, where the spouse verbally assaults the other.  Verbal abuse can include cursing, shouting, name-calling, or restricting one’s right to express oneself.  Emotional abuse tends to crop up in the form of emotionally manipulating you in some way.  Experiencing any level of abuse is unacceptable. On Occasion,  if addressed and with the assistance of a professional  the abuse maybe rectified.  Of course, this is not always the case and for some, when enough is enough a divorce is the only way out.


This is another challenge that puts a great strain on any relationship.  Addiction is just as complicated as abuse in many ways.  One main difference is that an addict is someone who is suffering from a health condition. It is not necessarily “criminal” to be addicted (although the means of acquiring certain drugs and using them may constitute a criminal act).  Addiction is being further studied so that we as a society as well as professionals know how to better address someone suffering from addiction.  For example, often times people do not consider alcohol to be a drug, when in fact, by definition it is.  A drug is simply defined as a substance that is ingested or introduced into a body that causes physiological changes.  Handling someone that is suffering from addiction can be very draining, both physically and emotionally.  Unless the addict is willing to seek help, there comes a time when someone may reach their breaking point, especially when children are involved.  Divorce is often a result when addiction cannot be controlled. 


An obvious affair is if a spouse may have engaged in a physical affair which may include kissing or intercourse.  A less obvious affair is one that is not physical, but is rather an emotional affair.  This is when a spouse invests their emotions with someone else.  This may include sharing deep thoughts and secrets or sharing daily activities or solving life challenges.  Sometimes emotional affairs are carried out between mutual friends of the married couple, which can often go unnoticed.  Social media has greatly improved the chances of emotional affairs since chats and messages can be private and can easily be shared daily or even hourly.    A married couple may benefit from marriage or couples counseling when their emotional needs are not being met.  If a spouse is unwilling to maintain your marriage and / or seek professional help, then a divorce may be the only alternative.

About the Firm

Patricia S. Fernandez Family Law, based in North Andover, Massachusetts, not only serves North Andover, MA, but also Andover, MA, Methuen, MA, Boxford, MA, and West Boxford, MA and surrounding areas, including Southern New Hampshire.  The law firm has consistently been recognized as a “Best Law Firm” from in US. News & World Report.  If you are considering divorce, or have other family law-related concerns such as child custody, mediation / arbitration, modifications, pre-nuptial / post-nuptial, or paternity matters, consider contacting Patricia S. Fernandez Family Law.

For more information and to discuss your situation with an experienced family law / divorce attorney in North Andover, MA, please visit our website

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