Should You Divorce if Your Spouse Cheated On You?


Should You Divorce if Your Spouse Cheated On You?

The holidays can be a stressful time for many as expectations are often set and often time are set too high.  In addition, many people have to work extra shifts or overtime to compensate for achieving those expectations.  Sometimes this means co-workers spend more time together than married couples, which may create opportunities for infidelity.  Here are some things to consider if you know your spouse was not faithful to you.

You Know You Know

Speculation or “having a hunch” is not enough when it comes to determining if your spouse is not faithful to you.  You need to know with certainty if your spouse is cheating on you.  Maybe you witnessed the act or maybe not.  If you don’t know for sure, you should address your concerns of infidelity to your spouse. Speculating about it in your own mind will only make you paranoid and miserable. Every couple is different, but hopefully your spouse will be honest with you.  Although it is challenging to maintain your emotions during this time, it would benefit both parties if both maintain calm and act like responsible adults and at least respect each other with honesty.  When one is cheated on, typically one would want to know “why?”  You may already know why or maybe not.  However, be prepared to never know, as some cheating spouses simply never explain the “why” of their actions.   In addition,  keep in mind that your spouse may not be honest with his or her responses, further, they may not know the true or main reason why.  A family law attorney or family law firm may assist you with moving forward if you choose divorce.

What Next?

Although it is definitely challenging, it is best if you keep yourself together during this time.  Letting all your friends and relatives know about the infidelity is usually not a wise decision.  Whatever you say or post on social media will likely be used in  court.  It is also wise not to break anything that your spouse may claim is there’s if you decide to file for divorce.  It should also go without saying that you should not inform your children what your spouse has done.

Will You Reconcile or File for Divorce?

Even after a spouse is not faithful to you, it is still possible to reconcile the marriage.  You may both decide to seek family counseling or take a vacation.  Married couples can recover from infidelity but the decision to keep a marriage or dissolve a marriage through divorce is ultimately up to the both of you.  A separation may also be a possible choice to determine if you need some space between you so both parties can take the time to determine if they want to proceed with filing for divorce or if their marriage can be reconciled. 

If you are considering filing for divorce after the holiday season, please do not hesitate to contact the law office of Patricia S. Fernandez Family Law by email or call us at (978) 681-5454.

About the Firm

Patricia S. Fernandez Family Law, based in North Andover, Massachusetts, not only serves North Andover, MA, but also Andover, MA, Methuen, MA, Boxford, MA, and West Boxford, MA and surrounding areas, including Southern New Hampshire.  The law firm has consistently been recognized as a “Best Law Firm” from in US. News & World Report.  If you are considering divorce, or have other family law-related concerns such as child custody, mediation / arbitration, modifications, pre-nuptial / post-nuptial, or paternity matters, consider contacting Patricia S. Fernandez Family Law.

For more information and to discuss your situation with an experienced family law / divorce attorney in North Andover, MA, please visit our website

For a family law and divorce consultation serving Andover, MA, 
contact us at Patricia S. Fernandez Family Law

(978) 681-5454

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